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Morley is clearly writing to married women, and he does so from much experience as a counselor to men and as a married man. A pioneer in the Christian men's movement, he writes, "I work with men as a calling, and I can assure you that the number one problem men face today is that their marriages are not working out the way they're supposed to. . . . My goal is to show a woman what a man is really like." The book could be called the women's edition of Morley's earlier book, The Man in the Mirror.
Strange as it may seem, Morley starts off by examining the bond between men and their fathers. He advises women to look at their fathers-in-law to see how they may have influenced their sons. ("Marriage is a learned thing," he says.) Husbands were taught by their fathers what it means to be a man and how to treat a woman. They also learned lessons about values and common sense and spiritual practices. Sometimes a wife may be called upon to express the love and approval her husband did not get from his father. Morley confesses, however, that wives should not think they have to make up for all the deficiencies their husbands felt in earlier years.
Morley goes on to help wives decipher things their husbands are probably feeling but cannot or will not talk about--things like job pressures ("How was your day, dear?" "Oh, fairly good," he says, and that's the end of it.) and the six persistent temptations men struggle with, including money and debt, lust, and pride. Morley is not an apologist in these cases, just wanting to explain behavior. However, most of the book turns to things a woman can actually do to improve her understanding and her relationship with her husband. Topping the list is companionship. Although Promise Keepers have made much of men's needs for male companionship, Morley makes a strong case for husbands and wives to be companions as well as lovers and helpmates. "You are the best friend your husband has ever had," says Morley.
Other chapters are on physical intimacy, communication, resolving conflict, appearance (your husband does want you to look good), and fathering.
It's important to read this book with the right attitude. Morley is not giving women ammunition to use in the war of the sexes. His final words are "May your husband become the man God wants him to be." Notice the emphasis is on who God wants him to be, not his wife.
The author does not bypass marriages in which the male partner is a browbeater, whiner, pouter, or abuser. He urges women in such situations to seek help from a pastor or a professional counselor and holds out the hope of change when a man gets serious about his relationship with the Lord.
It could be that Morley has some lessons as well as knowledge for women in What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Men.
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