The Balanced Life

Achieving Success in Work and Love

By Alan Loy McGinnis
Augsburg Fortress, $17.99

ISBN 0806635703

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Recipe For Real Success

Review by LaVonne Neff

Two years ago I sat in a packed auditorium at one of America's major universities and listened to the commencement speaker, the CEO of one of America's largest companies, tell the business school graduates his recipe for success. In order to reach the top, he said, they would have to put work ahead of everything, including their families. The families present, most of whom had sacrificed a great deal so their children could earn their MBAs, shuffled uncomfortably in their seats.

They would have much preferred the message of Alan Loy McGinnis.

In The Balanced Life, McGinnis is writing to people who value success, just like those graduating MBAs. Unlike the CEO, however, McGinnis believes that "no matter how much fame or money one can display, unless love is a large ingredient, one's life cannot be called successful." There are laws of achievement that must be learned if a person is going to succeed in business. Interestingly, those same laws apply to success in relationships -- with one's spouse, one's children, one's friends, and even God.

McGinnis, who is married and has four children, is also the founder and director of Valley Counseling Center in Glendale, California; a motivational lecturer who speaks to over 100,000 people each year; and the author of several popular books including The Power of Optimism and The Friendship Factor. Clearly he is in a position to understand the question that comes to him most frequently as he counsels and speaks: "How can I juggle a job and a family?"

In The Balanced Life, McGinnis talks about scores of people who have achieved their goals, both career and relational. Many are well known: Bill Gates of Microsoft, poet Maya Angelou, golf pro Gary Player.

Others gained success on their own terms: the decorating team with a reputation for dependability, the former stressed-out engineer turned contented cabinet builder, the insurance salesman who breaks his company's records while working only 60 days a year.

These are people who follow four principles that guarantee success in love as well as work: they are passionate about their goals, they practice self-discipline, they work well with others, and they know how to adapt to changing circumstances.

"No one is saying that the construction of a balanced life is easy," admits McGinnis. "It requires regular negotiation and renegotiation among at least three forces: the inner set of priorities and values you have set for yourself, the demands of your career, and fluctuating needs of the people you love."

Though the author shows how each of the four principles apply to both work and love, the first two -- summarized as "commitment" and "discipline" -- are particularly strong on work applications, while the last two -- "collaboration" and "adaptability" -- are rich as applied to family and friends. And in the end, says McGinnis, it's the relationships that count most. "I am quite certain," he writes, "if you have loved passionately and been loved back in similar ways, you will have achieved something profound, regardless of everything else."